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Thursday, August 18, 2005

It does what?

I went to the dentist today. She not only cleaned, polished and remineralised my teeth, but she also fashioned a weird little passion-killer that snaps onto my front teeth at bedtime and keeps me from grinding my teeth in my sleep. I really hope Best Beloved can channel some lusty thoughts towards rabbit-like things because that's what I look like with it on. (Playboy bunnies? good start. Watership Down? Ergh. Easter bunny? mmmm... chocolate...

ahem.) Anyway, as I sat there trying it out for size, the dentist-lady said 'my patients tell me it glows in the dark.' It does WHAT? I had wild visions of not only looking like a deformed rabbit, but glowing like one caught in a radioactive spotlight. OMFG. 'Not the splint, the box it goes into,' she said. 'That can be very handy when you're trying to find the box in the dark.' Well, there's somewhere else to put the condoms.

Sigh. Think of me tonight, looking dorkie but hopefully waking up without sore jaws.

4 comments:

Kate said...

I have this thing called TMJ where the bones in my jaw grind together and I'm supposed to wear a mouthguard at night to stop the pain.
I am a bit slack and I don't often wear it, as I hate it. I feel like a teenager with a retainer.

Guy said...

Re-confirms what we already knew about dentists. Sadistic bastards, all of them. ;)

Ampersand Duck said...

Actually, this dentist is a surprisingly gentle dentist, unlike the last one I had who laughed when I told him I had sensitive lower teeth. This one nodded sympathetically and treated them kindly. Thank you Crazybrave, for the recommendation!

I was given a mouthguardy thing once too, but it was useless (fitted by the aforementioned Prince of Pain) as he didn't identify that I not only ground my back teeth but also my front teeth at night, hence the worn-down front teeth (duh!). This little gadget is called an NTI-tss, whatever that stands for, and it's much nicer to wear than the mouthguard.

I'm in a different mood this morning -- despite the bunny look, this thing works! I woke up with hardly any jaw pain, and less neck pain. I can see that constant use of this will help, but you're right, it feels like I've been fitted with braces. BB assures me that he can cope with the look, as long as I keep waking up as sweetly as I did this morning! And the box really does glow...

Zoe said...

Just don't mix up the condoms and the bunny teeth.

And as for good recommendations, big ups to you on the vet. He's a cack.