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Thursday, August 04, 2005

Daily aversion therapy

For years now I've made phone calls from my home, said goodbye to the person concerned, and walked away humming something to myself. Halfway down the hall from the phone, I'll stop and think 'what the frick am I humming?'. It'll usually be something I haven't heard in years, something really annoying that won't get out of my head.

I couldn't work out why this happened EVERY time I got on the phone. Was my memory jogged by what had just passed on the phone? But it happened even if the other line didn't pick up!

The I gave my phone a good listen and finally understood. On my phone line is a faint echo of music, as if someone's put me on permanent hold. But it's not just muzak; it's Hits and Memories music. I'm tapped into Canberra's only radio station that plays music from the 50s, 60s and 70s. ARGHHH! Let me demonstrate. I'm going to pick up the phone right now. [does so] It's playing that song which goes something tells me I'm into something good.... If I turn on the radio and tune it in, yep, it's playing.

DOUBLE ARGHH!

I found out at For Battle! today that these annoying songs can be called 'earworms'. So now I know what's wrong with my phone. It's infested with earworms. And it's a bit hard to sing 'Only For Sheep' (suggested failsafe cure) while you wait for someone to pick up their phone because you sound like a complete berk (or you've forgotten why you've rung them and sound like you've finally got that demensia that has been on-setting for years).

Mind you, once I do get off the phone, 'Only for Sheep' by The Bureau works fine. So does the start of Vince Jones's 'On the Brink of It', which is what I was experimenting with before today. Anything to switch brain channels.

The thing that worries me the most is that my brain is being secretly stashed with all these crap songs, and who knows what will emerge in moments of stress a la 'Touching The Void'. I don't plan on getting stranded on a mountain in the near or distant future, but anything can happen, and if it does, which particular horror from this station will come whizzing back ad nauseum?

Do you think I've got grounds for a mental torture case against the radio station?

9 comments:

Kate said...

Until I saw that film it never occured to me that the music accompanying my dying moments might not be something sublime and beautiful, but could instead be some horrible pop tune. Now that's scary.

Kate said...

After posting, I realised I didn't make any sense in that comment. The music IN MY HEAD accompanying my dying moments.
There.

Ampersand Duck said...

Don't worry, I know what you were trying to say even without the afterword... I used to assume everyone has an internal soundtrack, but I've been told otherwise. I usually like mine; it means I'm never bored, but I'm hoping, like you, that I have a modicum of control over it most of the time!

Zoe said...

Ahem. I think 1053 2CA is utterly grouse. Really.

And I have a just-finished book of Ursula Le Guin stories for you to make up for it.

Ampersand Duck said...

Don't get me wrong, Braveheart, 2CA does have it's place, and that place is in the car, hooning around town, warbling at the top of my lungs when all the other stations are playing shite too. It isn't on my phone, creeping into my psyche. I feel like my phone is bugged...

Olivia said...

My phone does that too. Only once or twice has the person on the other end of the line been able to hear it too, but at our end it is 2CA at low volume all the time. Mostly I find it mildly amusing, sometimes creepy.

Mummy/Crit said...

De-lurking randomly now...

My mate Baterz used to recommend 'The Wombles' theme tune as a cure for ear-worms. Always worked for me...

Re-lurking again

btw I like your blog which I found by a very windy road.

Ampersand Duck said...

I prostrate myself at your feet if you knew Baterz. I was on friendly chat terms with him, mostly at concerts and folk festivals. Fabulous man. And I like his sister's singing very much. ABC Radio National played 'Springtime' by the Lighthouse Keepers in the background of Street Stories last week and I nearly swooned. I'm very glad you found me. Come again sometime.

Ampersand Duck said...

And Olivia, I'm so glad it's not just me, and I commiserate!