Thursday, May 05, 2005

This is torture, you bastards

Cor blimey, I've been passed a meme by Stack and it passed right by me until crazybrave smacked me in the face with it. Sorry, Stack, I blame it on the bogies.
Right, let's roll up the sleeves and get on with it...

You're stuck inside Fahrenheit 451. Which book do you want to be saved?
Ow gawd, this is the hardest question for someone with an inability to let books out of her sight. I'd like to say Pride and Prejudice. I'd also like to say The Complete Adventures of Hothead Paisan, or George Orwell's 1984. Or Fahrenheit 451 itself, just to be able to say "I told you so". You can't make me choose. I'm a Libran.

Have you ever had a crush on a fictional character?
Can I trackback this? I just participated in a comments session on this very topic. Pretty much every male hero in Austen, plus a Lizzie or two.

The last book you bought was...?
Today I bought The Bad Book by Andy Griffiths and Terry Denton, but that was for my son. The last book I bought for me was (dare I confess?) Georgette Heyer's Regency Buck. I love even typing that title.

The last book you read was...?
Margaret Barbalet's The Presence of Angels. Slightly underwhelmed by it, wish I could report something fancier.

What are you currently reading?
Sherri Tepper's The Visitor. Again, a bit underwhelmed, but I did a research paper on women's science fiction for my English MA years ago, and held onto a loyalty for her writing, prompted by my enjoyment of her book Beauty. Dunno why, everything since then's been a bit obscure. I've got another Georgette queued up next. Giving my brain a rest at the moment...

Five books you would take to a desert island...
Pride and Prejudice, Jane Austen (better than a vibrator, would while away lots of time)
Perfume, Patrick Susskind (just keep going back to it)
Adolf Hitler, My Part in His Downfall, Spike Milligan (much better than looking at palm trees, and funnier too)
Birdsong, Sebastian Faulk (beautiful)
I Claudius, Robert Graves (both for the sense of history and the memory of Derek Jacobi's voice)
Again, this was a very hard list. I'll regret it in the morning.

Who are you passing this stick on to and why?
When Crustaceans Attack, because he goes into such great flights of fantasy that I want to see what feeds them...
byrdsong (if he has time to read books), for the same reason.


Ampersand Duck said...

In a pre-emptive strike worthy of Laura (or perhaps an extended parenthetical aside worthy of me), I really do want to emphasize that that was a very hard list to write. I have been keeping a notebook for years listing all the books I read (averaging at least 8 books a month), and for starters I just went through all the books I re-read every few years or so. I feel strong sympathy for my mother-in-law, who also keeps such a list, and who lost her notebook a few weeks ago, thereby losing a twenty-five year chunk of her life in one fell swoop. She was devastated, as I would be too. That notebook is my collective memory of a very esoteric cruise through the printed word. I think I could live without my bookshelves and books, if I could just look through the notebook occasionally. Maybe that's what I should have taken to a desert island? But what would I take off the list to insert it? Argh!

harry said...

Interestingly enough I have read all of your list of five, but I hadn't even HEARD of any of Zoe's list of five.

Hehe - a notebook is on my list too.
Maybe it is you who is the perfect woman in literature?

Zoe said...

harry, Duck lives two blocks away. I'm sure we can squeeze something in 'round the edges of the roster.

Ampersand Duck said...

Harry, I thought Mindy and Zoe would be women enough for you... but you're obviously collecting a harem. Shucks.

harry said...

Mindy's official position is 'ewwwwwww!', so the only one on my dance card is Zoe. But since she started with pimping my ass around the net....I guess I'm her bitch now.
So, if you want me to be your bitch too... [big theatrical sigh]...okay.

Ampersand Duck said...

My dance card's a bit booked too, Harry, but Zoe's a good sharer. I wonder if you'd look as good on the bottom end of the leash as she'd look on the top end?

Zoe said...

well, harry?

harry said...

Oh, the Abu Graib game.
I think, if you look at the original documents, that this falls way outside the bounds of my contract.

"...but Zoe's a good sharer"
What a polite way of saying "wanton hussy".

Mindy said...

harry, how many times do I have to explain this? Once you are someone's bitch you have no contract, you have no rights. Just put on your studded collar and attach your leash. There's a good boy. I wouldn't call Zoe a wanton hussy if I were you. I can see what she's hiding behind her back!

harry said...

_I_ didn't call her a 'wanton hussy' - Ms Duck did.

I would only call Zoe a Wonton hussy. Y'know with the spicy tang of chinese chicken based stock rolling off her as the soup runs in steaming rivulets down her body: delineating each curve as starter, main and finally an all too tempting dessert. Her slick hair is once more flattened against her smooth glistening skin as another bowlful is gracefully tipped over her head. By now a miasma of temptation envelopes her body like a shroud. Her eyes beg to have her body brought back to life. A few slices of red red chilli slither ever so slowly down, down, down.

Fuck I'm hungry.
I mean horny.
I mean hungry


ChrisNiske said...

hey hey good answers all around...
those are tough posits for sure.
love ya forever

Ampersand Duck said...

Ay yay yay. Who would have thought a meme could spark so much fun?
Funny about the yum cha fantasy, Harry -- Zoe and I were just negotiating Mother's Day Yum Cha, but alas it fell through.
I would never call her a wanton hussy, more a woman of discretion and good taste[s]. I'd be practicing my scissors/paper/rock strategy if I were you. I saw a book about an inch thick on that very topic just the other day.

nick crustaceans said...

Rest assured I'm on the case.


Done the rest but the 5 books one is hard...

Ampersand Duck said...

Oh god yes. I broke out in a sweat just thinking about it.