Sunday, May 14, 2006

Mothers' Day is le berm beumbe

After a lovely dinner party at a friend's house last night (to which the background noise was that of my son giggling at A Shot in the Dark [which is far, far better than any half-arsed 'tribute' to the Pink Panther Steve Martin can come up with]), I awoke this morning to the gentle strains of IT'S MOTHERS' DAY! CAN I GIVE HER MY PRESENT NOW?

And what a present. A home-made piece of art, 2 DVDs, a poem and a book of 'vouchers', made at school:




and my personal favorite:


I was given a menu, to choose my breakfast:
- Horsehair sushi
- Snail Red Rice (beetroot and earwax options available)
- Pancakes (sweet or savoury)
- Baked Beans garnished with Dead Dogs
- Slug Souffle
- Eggs Benedict
- Stinging Nettle Salad
- Consume de Offal
- Dog Poo Stir Fry
- Water Pie
- Blowfly Icecream
- Puke Muffins
- Jellied Blood with Beef internal organs
- Spaghetti and Pingpong Balls

And a beverage menu:
- Anchovy milkshake
- Wee Cordial
- Tea
- Butterfly Snot
- Whipped Sweat
- Coffee
- Weasel Vomit
- Cowpat Slushy

Hmm. Choices, choices! Since bananas are exorbitant at the moment* I decided on the eggs, and since coffee is just as repugnant as butterfly snot to me, I went for the tea. BB is Master of the poached egg, and his Eggs Benedict is on par with anything I've ever been served in a restaurant. And he makes real tea with leaves in a pot. He and Bumblebee worked together on the breakfast, which I ate in bed with the paper.

I fully condone Mothers' Day, because unlike Valentine's Day, it has honorable provenance and by the goddess, don't we deserve it?

*The other wonderful thing BB has been known to do for breakfast is a fabulous banana pancake thingy where he cooks one side of the pancake, chops ripe banana straight onto the uncooked side, then flips the pancake and cooks the other side, banana and all. The banana melts and caramelises. Served with plain yoghurt, it is to die for. Cream would be nice too, if you're not into yoghurt.

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