My idea for a Visions grant

I reckon the Catholic Church in Australia should apply to the Federal Government for a travelling exhibitions grant to tour the late Pope to regional Australia. Regional Australia misses out on everything, apparently, and there just aren't enough chances to show dead Popes. A quick response grant should get him out there in a refrigerated horizontal Popemobile. What sort of audience should they target? Well, Catholics, mainly, especially the kiddies. but I reckon lots of people would rock up to their local library/gallery to see a dead Pope.

I'm sick of Australians experiencing culture vicariously. Give them the real thing. Call it 'Onwards and upwards: Pope John Paul's Last Tour'. Of course, it has to be a non-profit event, so when they pass the plate around it will all go to a good cause, like giving him a right royal send-off at the airport at the end, complete with wine and cheese bread. What size exhibition? Pope in a box, of course. He shrank a bit in the last few years, so he'd fit into even the smallest regional gallery.

What do you reckon? Not much time left, better get that application cracking before he starts to pong. On your bike, Archbishop.