2) Which of the following is/are no longer working properly? List all that apply.
i) blood pressure
n) other (please specify) (NB -- if the answer is 'bits', and it may well be, that's on a strictly a need-to-know basis)
inner bits (well documented)
3) Has your hairline receded? (For both sexes.)
More like 'migrated'; it's moved down to my chin.
4) Is your hair the same colour it was ten years ago?
No. it was a bright red (enhanced, of course), then a dark black.
5) Is your hair the same colour it was ten days ago?
Um, yes, but with a couple more greys.
6) Do you know what colour your hair would be if you grew the colour out?
I chopped all the colour out a couple of years ago, to the horror of my friends.
7) Are you still content to have your photo taken?
More so than when I was a teenager!
8) Do you think that Brazilians and/or back, sack & crack waxes are ridiculous?
9) Or have you had one (or more than one)?
No, I'm averse to non-accidental pain
10) Did it hurt more than childbirth / falling off a ladder / root canal work / being attacked by a shark? (If not applicable, write ‘Not Applicable’.)
11) Have you had root canal work?
No, but I'm sure it's around the corner
12) Have you had surgery on any of your intimate parts?
Yes. They don't seem very intimate when there's a team of people looking up them.
13) Were you evasive about it with your friends and relatives?
No. Love me, love my intimate parts.
14) How long have you known your oldest friend?
Gosh. High school. Before that I was shifting a lot.
15) How often do you have to grope around for a particular word before you remember it?
16) When you travel, do you take a special separate toiletries bag exclusively for your medications and other first aid supplies?
heh, not yet. Do you know, there's a fabulous display in the British Museum dealing with the amount of pills taken in a human lifetime? It's a woven piece of fabric representing a life span, with pills slotted into the weave at appropriate places. After the age of 50 the pills start increasing, and by the end of the span it's jam-packed.
17) Does the thought of starting a new relationship
(a) fill you with horror
(b) make you giggle
(c) make you want to run away into the desert
(d) other (please specify)
(b). If this one fails, I'll be very happily living alone.
18) What have you found to be the most reliable mantras, slogans and shibboleths to get you through life’s bad moments?
This too shall pass.
19) What makes you cry?
Songs. Movies. Books. Pain. Arguments. Frustration. Joy. Love. Oh hell, everything.
20) What makes you laugh?
Pretty much everything. Usually straight after I've cried.
21) Who were your musical gods and heroes when you were in your late teens/early 20s?
Joan Armatrading. Tracy Chapman. The Lighthouse Keepers. The Violent Femmes. Ricki Lee Jones. The Doug Anthony AllStars. And many, many more. I like/d music of all shapes and sizes a lot, but I'm not one to worship.
22) Is/are he/she/they still alive?
In one form or another.
23 Which of these is no longer what it once was? List all that apply.
a) your ability to metabolise alcohol or other drugs of choice.
Uh huh. I stick to white wine these days.
b) your desire to metabolise alcohol or other drugs of choice.
Um, yep, I'm off the weed.
c) your desire to dance.
Nope, still happy to hussle.
d) your ability to dance.
Nope, still able to shimmy.
24) Have you now been to enough funerals to have definite and detailed ideas about how they should be organised and run? If yes, please elaborate.
No, thankfully. I haven't been to a funeral for years, although I've been to a few earlier on.
25) Have people started trying to help you across the street?
Heh. That made me giggle. No.
26) Could you get up on karaoke night and sing 'Non, je regrette rien' without bursting into howls of hysterical laughter?
27) If not, please explain.
Because I would bugger up the lyrics so badly that I'd be laughing along with everyone else.
28) What about 'My Way'?
Oh, yeah. I could sing that straight-faced. But I wouldn't, because I'd look like a pill. It's a bloke's song.
29) When did you last have a drink?
An hour ago.
30) What was it?
31) Can I have some?
Anytime. It's waiting for you.