Monday, May 14, 2007

LAZY, peoples, LAZY

Time only for a brief list... I stayed up too late last night so I crave a bit of sleep tonight.

-- Mother's Day was memorable for a lovely breakfast in bed, a couple of cheesy DVDs as a present, and a choral rendition of the following lyrics, garnished with lots of hysterical giggles:

Diarrhoea... from Mum's re-ar,
It is cle-ar-
ly a dirty brown...

Diarrhoea... from Mum's re-ar,
It is cle-ar-
ly stinking up town...

Charming, don't you think? There were other verses but I couldn't distinguish them from the giggles. I think even the cats joined in. I must stress that the topic had nothing to do with me, my bowels are sound, it's just an attack of Mother's Day humour, which beats the hell out of saccharine sentiments.

-- We have spent an unhealthy chunk of our weekend looking for a new car. Apparently it is An Impossible Thing to find a manual station-wagon anymore. Automatic is the new black. LAZY, I cry. You're all bloody too LAZY to change gears anymore. We have resigned ourselves to driving a car like a dodgem car, but I won't go down silently. LAZY! And apparently many car manufacturers have abandoned their wagon lines in favour of all-wheel drives, because people think they are safer and they like being taller than the majority of cars. LAZY and SCARED. Phooey.

-- I've also decided that car colours are an indicator of how boring and bland Australian society has become under the Howard regime. Once upon a time we were all advised to have light-coloured cars for Road Safety, for Visibility. That's all gone to pot as a plague of black, grey and navy cars has taken over the roads. Shame, people, shame. We need a line of fresh oranges, greens, yellows, whatever gets people feeling ZINGY again.

-- And in the latest Public Service news, Best Beloved ordered a filing cabinet for his new office the other day. It arrived within a day or two, but securely locked. No-one had told him that you need to order the key separately. Classic.

I'm sure I wanted to type more, but I've lost the plot. Happy mother's day to all of you who aren't deliberately barren, and keep up the good work to all of you who are, especially if you're wearing the matching t-shirt.

Oh yeah! For the best literary fun in town, visit Ask the Bronte Sisters. My favorite is Emily. BB asked me the other day why Wuthering Heights hasn't been exploited the way all the Austen books have. My answer was that he obviously hasn't read the book, because it's not a romantic comedy or light-hearted drama. It has ISSUES, man, and big ones (not that Austen doesn't, she just gives them to you with a smile). He seemed quite intrigued by that answer, but sadly not enough to read the book.

I just finished Lionel Shriver's The Female of the Species (1987). Wow. Did anyone read that interview with her in The Weekend Australian? I haven't read Kevin yet, but I will very soon. She was GOOD.

Enough. Bedtime.


lynn white said...

That ditty wins hands down in the mothers' day stakes.

Good luck with the car hunt. I really don't think they ship Subaru Outback's in crazy psychedelia, but don't give up.

Ampersand Duck said...

Ah Lynn, that's half our trouble. We don't want a 4-wheel drive anymore. We's city types who stick to main roads. We've only used our (optional) 4-wheel drive on Suby-Ruby twice in four years, which is a waste of potential really.

Enny said...

*creeps further down in seat of black brown dusty car*

Ampersand Duck said...

Heh. Be proud of that dust, Enny. You're doing the Right Thing by our water supply!

Eleanor Bloom said...

Just passing through, as I do occasionally (pleased ta meetcha).
Yes, I did read interview with Shriver. She’s a bit of an odd sort isn’t she? I’ve found her fascinating for a while now, but I haven’t read anything of hers yet. I’ve been too scared to read ‘Kevin’ – a bit dark – but I might get round to it when I’m feeling strong. Have been looking forward to reading her latest though. It seems a bit like a Choose-Your-Own-Adventure, get to see the outcomes of different choices (hmm, I’m showing my age here).

And just so you know, I drive a manual.

Mummy/Crit said...

If you don't want optional 4WD then you're probly ferked. Good luck with the search though. That was an awesome song, what was the tune for it?

Val said...

Ah, there's so much to agree with here, and as a mother of sons I am used to and rather amused by the toilet humor.

So glad I now have a manual again after many years of boring driving. At least gear shifting gives you something to DO. And don't get me started on the mini trucks that people drive around in the urban environment.

Mindy said...

Kevin is good. Just make sure you don't have anything really urgent to do, because you won't be able to concentrate on anything else I found.

Bernice said...

Sure the filing cabinet isn't the new OH&S comlpliant version, locked so as to prevent accidental finger slamming & god forbid - back strain - from opening overloaded drawers?

Ampersand Duck said...

Well, yes, probably, you sensible woman, but surely the key is supposed to be taped to the side or something so that you can start using it straight after it is delivered?

Bernice said...

No - the delay in key delivery faciliates the end-user experiencing the logic of safe and pain-free living with the said filing cabinet, allowing one to enter into a profound readiness for the moment of the keyed opening.