Space Oddities

Zoe and Teejmahal and I had a leddy's wager on the oddest book we could find at the recent Lifeline Book Fair. Personally, I think Teej won, with Zoe's a close second (having glimpsed it at point of purchase, she hasn't blogged it yet), but I'll show you mine because it/they are still lots of fun.

I say it/they because I'm displaying a few oddities, none of which are the sort of thing you squeal over, but each of which deserve a snigger. I couldn't bring it down to just one.

1. Where's Charles and Di?



Well, we know exactly where they are now, but back then nobody was really sure. The odd thing is, I'd have thought this was a royal wedding cash-in from 1981, but it was actually printed in 1992, when all was going awry! Very strange timing. Gotta love the banded warning on the top right corner: WARNING! SATIRE/PARODY! THIS IS NOT A WALDO/WALLY BOOK. I don't know why the concern. There's not a rude bit in sight. And no Camillas lurking in the corners as far as I can make out. Shame. She could have been dressed in yellow and black stripes on every page.

2. How to Survive an Attack



Not a crocodile attack, or even a stingray attack, but a (start quaking) spiritual attack. With chapters like 'How to recognise an attack' and 'How to go through an attack', this is one self-inducedhelp book you cannot live without. Best Beloved was very pleased when I brought this home. It will sit on the shelf next to his Chick tracts and books about snake-handlers and babblers-in-tongue.

3. Wake up Australia



Indeed. Off your arses and down a mine! Classic gems of sage advice from the man who chose to marry Rose Porteous Hancock. The introduction says it all:

Are Australians grateful to Lang Hancock? That is a subject of profound indifference to him. He does what he thinks is right. He usually is.

But, true to LH, he has to say more anyway:

The time to cash in on nuclear mining is now when we cn be at the head of the queue and whilst the spoils to the victor are greatest. There is no prize for dragging the chain in this fiercely competitive world.

If we are prepared to jump into the nuclear age immediately, there is no reason why the Pilbara in Western Australia could not become the "Ruhr of Suth-East Asia". With the build-up in economic strength Australia would be strong enough to defend itself. The raw materials are here. What is lacking is leadership, guts and foresight.

That was written in 1979. Could have read it in the Australian last weekend, don't you think? What further proof do you need that the Howard govt is dragging us back twenty-five years? I'd say this book is on a few Liberal Party bookshelves.

Actually, that wasn't much of a snigger, was it? Try this one:

4. Meat. Every Which Way.



Published by the Australian Meat & Livestock Corporation (no date, but I'm pretty sure early 80s), I think this was the precurser to the 'Feed your Man Meat' campaign. From the look of that butcher, he's getting something every which way. I'm sure this is the closest you'd get in visual terms to Cutbush the Grocer from The Vivisector.

With subchapters like 'Beef: Moist Heat Cooking', 'Lamb: Meat with Care', 'Good-looking Cooking' and 'Cooking Economically with Meat Using Appliances', this book* is a weird mix of recipes, advice, drawings from the 1880s and 'fresh' images like this one:



Tell me what you think that boy is thinking. I've got my own ideas, but I'd love to hear yours.



*Which will probably join Zoe's cookbook collection (if she wants it!)