GAH!

As I'm typing this with one hand I am on hold to Telstra.

For about four fricking years I have been getting a monthly bill for 5c. I've tried to pay it, to no avail! It's not like I care a whit about Telstra, it's just that a lot of probably very nice trees are dying for a lost cause here.

Today (as if I didn't have enough to do) I decided to tackle it again. I'm regretting that impulse.

First contact was the recorded voice saying, 'If you know what your call is about, please say it clearly now'.
I said, 'A STUPID BILL!'
The voice paused, and replied, 'That would probably be Accounts and Enquiries. If that is correct, please say Yes clearly.'

Next time I'll say something ruder. They're obviously prepared for it.

I'm still on hold. Mohammed (to his credit he didn't call himself Wayne or Bluey) is having a complete computer meltdown trying to transfer the 5 cents from my closed landline account to my active mobile account.

It's time someone wrote a revised Dante's Descent into Hell. I'm in one of the outer circles right now.