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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Childhood innocence blasted preserved

I woke up yesterday morning with a strange feeling. Well, not strange really; a feeling that is getting more familiar every day: 'oh shit, I've forgotten something major. Now what was it?'

Then I heard Bumblebee mutter 'fat cow' and it hit me, in full technicolour guilt:

I'D FORGOTTEN TO BE THE TOOTH FAIRY!!!!!!

Oh, remorse is worse than a hangover.

After a discussion about how busy the toothfairy is, and how it wasn't really nice to call someone as nice as the TF a fat cow (with a sideline in the use of the word fat in relation to women generally), we then agreed that he'd try again last night.

Last night I made a concerted effort to remember, even though I'd consumed quite a lot of champagne at the Polite Night (I'll blog that later today). I managed to get the tooth out from under the pillow and add it to my Box of Baby Teeth, and inserted a $2 coin, two jellybeans and a small note saying 'I am not a fat cow'.

This morning Bumblebee came in all excited, waving his treasures around and showing me the note, on the back of which he'd scrawled 'SORRY!!!!!'

And then he launched into one of his epic stories about how the tooth fairy uses the teeth to build houses and planes and cities and stuff, and how his (lower canine) tooth has been used for a crucial part of a jet submarine to help her get to kids faster.

Phew.

8 comments:

loadedog said...

How much for the box of baby teeth? I'll pay double what the fat cow paid.

Ampersand Duck said...

Heh. No no ne no no -- I'm going to have the full set cast in resin as a necklace. It's a long term plan! If the Victorians could do it with odd bits of dead people, I can do it with my son's teeth :)

Mindy said...

Wow, tooth inflation could be leading to interest rate rises. The going rate used to be about 20c. We used to try for 40c for molars but I don't think it ever worked. But then again you could get a big bag of tooth rotting lollies for 20c back then too.

Ampersand Duck said...

Yeah, I think tooth prices are indexed to lolly prices!

Mind you, no-one at B's school calls them lollies anymore. They say CANDY. Argh.

worldpeace and a speedboat said...

Candy? getoutofhere. eugh. it's lollies or else they can't have any ;)

btw Cozling was telling us last night how they've (I think in this case, 'they' are scientists from somewhere) found stem cells in baby teeth. how amazing is that?

what a choice, do you sell the teeth for strange voodoo practices (I'm sure that's what loadedog wants them for) or For Science!

Befuddled said...

My childed weekend ended with a very interesting discussion with my nine year old re the use & non-use of condoms. Which let me tell you is a very strange topic for a forty something lesbian. The condom fairy doesn't have quite the same ring, nor necessarily quite the desired meaning. I now wait for the call from the ex as she's just discovered him trying to fit a rubber glove on his penis. Perhaps I shouldn't have mentioned gladwrap either...

Mark Lawrence said...

This reminds me of when I forgot to be the Easter Bunny the night before (earlier this year): I had to tip-toe half asleep around the house really early in the morning, in the dim light, trying to place bundles of easter eggs and chocolate lady birds in various corners of the unit, without my five-year-old son hearing or catching me in the act.

I guess this one is on the opposite end of teeth related stories.

Ampersand Duck said...

ha ha ha
you're all mad, I tells ye.

And now I feel better.